Dear Abby has a letter today from someone whose 20-year-old nephew keeps showing up, and helping himself to milk from the fridge. The letter-writer complains that milk costs money. That other people drink milk, too.

Abby seems to commiserate. Yes. Nephews should not sneak milk from the fridge.

What if I welcome the thirsty nephew to my house. What if I buy an extra carton of milk and have it in the fridge at all times. What if I laugh with him, and with a big red marker I write his name on the carton, and draw blue and yellow stars and tell him that milk’s for him. And what if every time he wants milk from the fridge, I say, go right ahead, love, drink all you want. And what if before he leaves, I stick a two-dollar bill in his pocket so he can buy a glass of milk wherever he goes…

What if I go to his aunt’s place, and bring her a carton of cold milk and pour her a glass?

What if we withhold the wrong things?

What will be the difference ten years from now between an adult who was nourished, and one who was turned away from the milk in the fridge?

Maybe Dear Abby could use a glass, too.